Moderator: What’s 2+2? Secretary Clinton.
Clinton: I was there when arithmetic courses were instituted in public schools, so obviously I’m the one to answer this question. I fought for public schools. I fight for students. People. Streetlights. I love women. I love kids. I am a woman. I am a grandmother. Hyaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.

Moderator: Mr. Trump?
Trump: First of all she’s not a woman. At least not like the women I sleep with, and believe me that’s a lot, and they’re real women. My women are real women. WHAAAT?!
She only loves kids because she’s attracted to them. Believe me. I read it. It’s there. It’s THERE! Go READ IT! Trust me.

Moderator: Senator Kaine?
Kaine: FOUR! What the literal fuck?

Moderator: Governor Pence?
Pence: Listen to Hillary badmouthing women and children! She’s insulting women. You heard her say it. She demeans women.